“We could be headed in a direction where, among elites, marriage and family are conventional, but for substantial portions of society, life is more matriarchal,” says Wilcox. The marginalization of working-class men in family life has far-reaching consequences. “Marriage plays an important role in civilizing men. They work harder, longer, more strategically. They spend less time in bars and more time in church, less with friends and more with kin. And they’re happier and healthier.”
Click.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Happiness Breakdown
"About 50% of individual happiness comes from a genetic set point. That is, we’re each predisposed to a certain level of happiness. Some of us are just naturally more inclined to be cheery than others.
About 10% of our happiness is due to our circumstances. Our age, race, gender, personal history, and, yes, wealth, only make up about one-tenth of our happiness.
The remaining 40% of an individual’s happiness seems to be derived from intentional activity, from “discrete actions or practices that people can choose to do”.
If we have no control over our genetic “happy point”, and if we have little control over our circumstances, then it makes sense to focus on those things that we can do to make ourselves happy. According to Montier’s paper, these activities include sex, exercise, sleep, and close relationships.
What does not bring happiness? Money, and the pursuit of happiness for its own sake. “A vast array of individuals seriously over-rate the importance of money in making themselves, and others, happy,” Montier writes. “Study after study from psychology shows that money doesn’t equal happiness.”
According to my research, these are the thirteen actions most likely to encourage happiness:
Don’t compare yourself to others. Financially, physically, and socially, comparing yourself to others is a trap. You will always have friends who have more money than you do, who can run faster than you can, who are more successful in their careers. Focus on your own life, on your own goals.
Foster close relationships. People with five or more close friends are more apt to describe themselves as happy than those with fewer.
Have sex. Sex, especially with someone you love, is consistently ranked as a top source of happiness. A long-term loving partnership goes hand-in-hand with this.
Get regular exercise. There’s a strong tie between physical health and happiness. Anyone who has experienced a prolonged injury or illness knows just how emotionally devastating it can be. Eat right, exercise, and take care of our body. (And read Get Fit Slowly!)
Obtain adequate sleep. Good sleep is an essential component of good health. When you’re not well-rested, your body and your mind do not operate at peak capacity. Your mood suffers. (Read more in my brief guide to better sleep.)
Set and pursue goals. I believe that the road to wealth is paved with goals. More than that, the road to happiness is paved with goals. Continued self-improvement makes life more fulfilling.
Find meaningful work. There are some who argue a job is just a job. I believe that fulfilling work is more than that — it’s a vocation. It can take decades to find the work you were meant to do. But when you find it, it can bring added meaning to your life.
Join a group. Those who are members of a group, like a church congregation, experience greater happiness. But the group doesn’t have to be religious. Join a book group. Meet others for a Saturday morning bike ride. Sit in at the knitting circle down at the yarn shop.
Don’t dwell on the past. I know a guy who beats himself up over mistakes he’s made before. Rather than concentrate on the present (or, better yet, on the future), he lets the past eat away at his happiness. Focus on the now.
Embrace routine. Research shows that although we believe we want variety and choice, we’re actually happier with limited options. It’s not that we want no choice at all, just that we don’t want to be overwhelmed. Routines help limit choices. They’re comfortable and familiar and, used judiciously, they can make us happy.
Practice moderation. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It’s okay to indulge yourself on occasion — just don’t let it get out of control. Addictions and compulsions can ruin lives.
Be grateful. It’s no accident that so many self-help books encourage readers to practice gratitude. When we regularly take time to be thankful for the things we have, we appreciate them more. We’re less likely to take them for granted, and less likely to become jealous of others.
Help others. Over and over again, studies have shown that altruism is one of the best ways to boost your happiness. Sure, volunteering at the local homeless shelter helps, but so too does just being nice in daily life.
Remember: True wealth is not about money. True wealth is about relationships, about good health, and about continued self-improvement."
Click
About 10% of our happiness is due to our circumstances. Our age, race, gender, personal history, and, yes, wealth, only make up about one-tenth of our happiness.
The remaining 40% of an individual’s happiness seems to be derived from intentional activity, from “discrete actions or practices that people can choose to do”.
If we have no control over our genetic “happy point”, and if we have little control over our circumstances, then it makes sense to focus on those things that we can do to make ourselves happy. According to Montier’s paper, these activities include sex, exercise, sleep, and close relationships.
What does not bring happiness? Money, and the pursuit of happiness for its own sake. “A vast array of individuals seriously over-rate the importance of money in making themselves, and others, happy,” Montier writes. “Study after study from psychology shows that money doesn’t equal happiness.”
According to my research, these are the thirteen actions most likely to encourage happiness:
Don’t compare yourself to others. Financially, physically, and socially, comparing yourself to others is a trap. You will always have friends who have more money than you do, who can run faster than you can, who are more successful in their careers. Focus on your own life, on your own goals.
Foster close relationships. People with five or more close friends are more apt to describe themselves as happy than those with fewer.
Have sex. Sex, especially with someone you love, is consistently ranked as a top source of happiness. A long-term loving partnership goes hand-in-hand with this.
Get regular exercise. There’s a strong tie between physical health and happiness. Anyone who has experienced a prolonged injury or illness knows just how emotionally devastating it can be. Eat right, exercise, and take care of our body. (And read Get Fit Slowly!)
Obtain adequate sleep. Good sleep is an essential component of good health. When you’re not well-rested, your body and your mind do not operate at peak capacity. Your mood suffers. (Read more in my brief guide to better sleep.)
Set and pursue goals. I believe that the road to wealth is paved with goals. More than that, the road to happiness is paved with goals. Continued self-improvement makes life more fulfilling.
Find meaningful work. There are some who argue a job is just a job. I believe that fulfilling work is more than that — it’s a vocation. It can take decades to find the work you were meant to do. But when you find it, it can bring added meaning to your life.
Join a group. Those who are members of a group, like a church congregation, experience greater happiness. But the group doesn’t have to be religious. Join a book group. Meet others for a Saturday morning bike ride. Sit in at the knitting circle down at the yarn shop.
Don’t dwell on the past. I know a guy who beats himself up over mistakes he’s made before. Rather than concentrate on the present (or, better yet, on the future), he lets the past eat away at his happiness. Focus on the now.
Embrace routine. Research shows that although we believe we want variety and choice, we’re actually happier with limited options. It’s not that we want no choice at all, just that we don’t want to be overwhelmed. Routines help limit choices. They’re comfortable and familiar and, used judiciously, they can make us happy.
Practice moderation. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It’s okay to indulge yourself on occasion — just don’t let it get out of control. Addictions and compulsions can ruin lives.
Be grateful. It’s no accident that so many self-help books encourage readers to practice gratitude. When we regularly take time to be thankful for the things we have, we appreciate them more. We’re less likely to take them for granted, and less likely to become jealous of others.
Help others. Over and over again, studies have shown that altruism is one of the best ways to boost your happiness. Sure, volunteering at the local homeless shelter helps, but so too does just being nice in daily life.
Remember: True wealth is not about money. True wealth is about relationships, about good health, and about continued self-improvement."
Click
Self-Confidence Tip: Be Good to Yourself
"If you act timid & hesitant, then people will think you have low self-confidence and will treat you accordingly. They may "walk all over you" or even speak disrespectfully. Remember, people will treat you the way you treat yourself. You teach people how you want to be treated. If you're self-confident, firm, and self-assured, people will be less likely to take advantage of you. Building self-confidence requires acting a certain way."
Self-Confidence Tip: Do Things
"The path towards building self-confidence for women is to do things. Playing softball in a community league, making presentations at work, striking up conversations with a stranger -- the more you step up to the plate the easier it gets to get involved. This will build confidence when you're trying these techniques. You may fumble and even fail. You might also feel successful as you boost your self-esteem. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take (Note: Wayne Gretzky?). When you're building self-confidence, know that everyone misses the net and makes mistakes. Accept your mistakes as part of living an adventurous life. Even failing goes a long way in building self-confidence because you learn to trust and respect your ability to take action to step up to the plate. Building self-confidence involves trying new things."
Self-Confidence Tip: Looking for the Bright Spots
"Self-confidence for women depends on what you're doing. Avoid labeling yourself with low self-confidence just because you stutter when talking to your boss, etc. If you think you have low self-confidence then that's how you'll act. Instead, be aware of your whole self as a woman. You're self-confident in some situations and less self-confident in others. Self-confidence in women requires focusing on what you're good at, admitting your weaknesses and letting yourself be yourself in each situation. Building self-confidence for women requires being honest about who you are."
Keith Sawyer's: Explaining Creativity
* Successful creative people are successful because they are intrinsically motivated
* "10 Year Rule" -- successful creative people usually take 10 years to produce something of worth (it takes 10 years to familiarize self with any domain, e.g. conventions, language, history)
* People become successful because of motivation and hard work, NOT innate talent
* There are no "personality traits" to identify creativity in individuals
* Successful people are motivated to do what they do because they like what they do-- they become fully engaged with the process (note: perhaps referring to Mihaly Csikszentmihaly's concept of "flow"?)
* "10 Year Rule" -- successful creative people usually take 10 years to produce something of worth (it takes 10 years to familiarize self with any domain, e.g. conventions, language, history)
* People become successful because of motivation and hard work, NOT innate talent
* There are no "personality traits" to identify creativity in individuals
* Successful people are motivated to do what they do because they like what they do-- they become fully engaged with the process (note: perhaps referring to Mihaly Csikszentmihaly's concept of "flow"?)
Malcolm Gladwell: Outliers
It takes 10,000 hours (approx. 10 years if you practice 3 hrs/day) to become good at something.
Society Test
"One of the primary tests of the mood of a society at any given time is whether its comfortable people tend to identify psychologically with the power and achievements of the very successful or with the needs and sufferings of the underprivileged."
- Richard Hofstadter, historian
- Richard Hofstadter, historian
Happiness
"One is happy as a result of one's own efforts once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness: simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clean and clear conscience."
- George Sand
- George Sand
...Paved with Good Intentions
"By pursuing his own interest [an individual] frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good."
- Adam Smith, "Wealth of Nations"
- Adam Smith, "Wealth of Nations"
Economics Before Politics
"A science of economics must be developed before a science of politics can be logically formulated. Essentially, economics is the science of determining whether the interests of human beings are harmonious or antagonistic. This must be known before a science of politics can be formulated to determine the proper functions of government."
- Claude - Frederic Bastiat
- Claude - Frederic Bastiat